Corner to Corner 1 - Bon Voyage - by Bobsy Bernstein
The problem is this: people just don’t travel any more, ironically because travel has become so easy. In Second Life teleportation is the norm, the quickest and easiest way to get from A to B. While being able to cross the relatively vast distances involved in-game in a heartbeat does mean players have better access to all the exciting locations on offer than they would otherwise have, it actually means that players are exposed to less of them.
And so I had a purpose. I would travel around the world of Second Life, exposing the wonders of its surreal virtual world for all to see, and thus encourage others to follow in my footsteps. Noble, altruistic, and tempered by a double-dose of cynicism, if not abject worry. Firstly, given the immense apathy towards seeking out Strange New Worlds And New Civilisations, would anyone care about my adventures? Would they be too distracted by Tringo and the virulent unreal-estate market to give a toss about anything of genuine interest? This, I decided, was a problem beyond my mortal power to solve, and worrying about it would only serve to dampen my spirits, which were hardly altogether dry at the best of times.
Secondly, I began to suffer small bouts of paranoia regarding what I might actually encounter on the trip. My previous forays into the unknown vastness of Second Life had been fruitful, but they were hardly goldmines. What if I just spent several days on the road, with nothing to show for it but an arse remoulded into a convex replica of the Twindola’s pilot seat? What if Second Life turns out to be boring?
Again, I had little control over this, but I had to do what I could to ensure exposure to as much of Second Life as possible. Deciding, for the sake of simplicity governed by a somewhat spotty expertise in aerial navigation, that my journey would go between just two points, but logically, the further apart they were, the more exciting, hedonistic treasures I’d find along the way. Well, it was as good a theory as any. The layout of the game world map made it clear where to place these points to ensure the greatest distance between them. One went in the north-westernmost corner, the other in the far southeast.
Corner to Corner. With Bobsy Bernstein.
That sounded good. Michael Palin would be proud, at least until he realised that, apart from a few pre-emptive placing of waypoints to avoid certain obstacles, that “corner to corner” was the extent of my navigation at the outset. Well, even if I ran into trouble, at least I’d always have the solace of having started out with a great name for the expedition.
Only one more thing needed to be decided: the mode of transport I would use. While everyone in Second Life has the power of flight, I’d decided pretty early on that it wasn’t for me. Strange as it may sound, there’s something altogether common about flying on one’s own. Recent weeks have seen me gradually constructing a huge flying vessel, but its penchant for literally falling apart at the first sign of server lag meant that it wouldn’t be a practical choice. Rather, I fell back on Old Faithful, a.k.a. the Twindola.
The Twindola standard edition features a working altimeter, multiple flight modes, transparent cockpit canopy and comfortable seating for two. A snip at only L$150, the current model is fully customisable, making it a real bargain. And this customisability was to prove a solution to another problem that had suddenly reared its head. While publishing on the internet would be Cheap As Free (more or less), publishing within Second Life itself would not be, and on a basic account I wouldn’t be able to afford it. However, a deal with a one Always Black (a.k.a. Wandering Yaffle) put an end to that difficulty, by turning the Twindola into an airborne whore of The Man. Enter the Twindola B2, or “Blackmobile”, capable of dispensing in-game adverts and directions to passers-by at two hundred paces. Well, the cash in-pocket and promise of more to come in return for becoming a mobile billboard softened the blow somewhat.
I had corporate sponsorship, I had transport, and I had purpose. This was turning into a real journey – what had started off in my mind as a pleasant diversion had turned into something far more involving. Only one thing remained: getting underway. It was time to take the teleport one last time to get me to the starting point. Time indeed, to dive headfirst into the neon lights and twisted unreality of Second Life’s seedy core!
Oh. What an anticlimax.
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