"Next!" A voice bellowed from behind the large, wooden doors that seperated the ornate corridor from the throne room. With a click, one of the doors opened, and a small man with terrible acne in a guard's uniform two sizes too big appeared. He set his halberd (+ 1 against souvenir hunters) against the wall and unrolled a scroll.
"Sir Day of the Ranging mountains?" a slightly squeeky voice announced, "The King will see you now." The voice cracked at the word 'king', and the guard clumsily plucked his halberd and stood aside.
The king started in his chair, then very quickly stopped again. Striding towards him was a knight, resplendent in a silver polished armour that had carefully engraved dragons on it. As the warrior got closer, he unsheathed his sword (+14 against doors of privies) and knelt on one knee, with the tip of the blade resting on the floor as he held the handle in a firm grip. With his free arm, he took off his helmet... would have taken off his helmet, had the straps not been fastened.
A small voice uttered a word of curse, before laying the sword down and fumbling with the chin straps of his helmet. Another word of curse, and the gauntlets were taken off so two small, slender hands could give a try. "Aha!" a triumphant voice said, before the helmet was placed ceremonially to the ground. Blond hair sat atop a slightly pudgy face, which tried to look rugged with a 5 o'clock shadow. A pair greyish blue eyes stared eagerly at the monarch.
Eyes wide with rage, the King gripped the arm rests of his throne. His mouth bobbed open and closed, reminding Day of a tropical fish he once saw.
"YOU!"
"Yes!" Day spoketh, with great pride, "Lo! I returneth!
"YOU!" The King yelled again. "What in the name of Greek Buggery are you doing here?"
"I have come," Day rose to his feet with one arm on his chest as he spoke, "to aid you in your time of great need!" His voice lowered, he seemed to lean closer when he continued. "I saw the advert in the Daily Semaphore, I figured I'd come take a crack at this mission you have."
"ABSOLUTELY NOT! You are a bumbling fool, an idiot, an ignoramus, a feeb!" The King's mouth did that bobbing thing again.
"Oh, come now. I am undefeated against the forces of evil." The hero retorted, his pride slightly hurt.
"Undefeated? UNDEFEATED? You lost your soul, and that of our kingdom's greatest journalist, to Satan himself! In a staring competition, of all things!"
"Oh.....that." Day looked at his feet, which were the only part of his body not covered in armour. A pair of smelly leather boots stared back at him.
"Then there was your mission to Pox Ur'thal!" The king screamed, his face red with fury.
"Ah...now that," the hero raised both hands in a pleading gesture, "that was a misunderstanding."
"MISUNDERSTANDING!" The king leapt to his feet, shaking with anger. "You slayed the princess and rescued the dragon!"
"It's a very nice dragon."
The king slapped his head with his left hand, then wished he hadn't. He was wearing his Gauntlets of Might (+12 to foreheads). He plucked a handkerchief from a pocket in the recesses of his robe, and slumped back down holding it to his head.
"Get. Out." He said.
"Oh...well, if that's how you feel..." Day put his helmet and gauntlets back on, and picked up his sword.
"Get. Out." The King repeated.
"I don't suppose you'd reconsider?"
"GET OUT!"
Day was so taken aback by the volume of the outburst, that he dropped his mighty sword onto his mighty toe. He turned and attempted to make his limp back to the door look like a purposeful stride.
"Next!" The King yelled, as Day went through the door. The guard consulted the scroll again.
"Er....He-Man? The King will see you now."