The year was 1981; I was 17 going on 18, in my mind going on 35. I rolled over on the couch and bit Rob on the chest. I did that because he had an extremely bitable chest. I wanted to eat him up completely. He had been my boyfriend for several weeks and I was still very high on the relationship. He had been discharged from the marines about three months ago and since he was stationed on the same base as the older brother of my best friend, his reappearance into our circle of friends wasn’t surprising. I fell in lust with him the first time I laid eyes on him.

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Originally published at http://www.bigkid.com.au/ on 5th October 2001

A simple desire to spend time in a new zone unmolested by passing evil guards led my Bard on a new quest to gain an item to solve the problem, which led him on a quest to gain another item in order to gain the first. Nesting questing is an EQ speciality and can result in some rather interesting adventures.

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Neyra has both her hands clasped tightly around a long, oval iron rod about as thick as a man’s wrist. It feels cold to the touch and this is because the expansive, arched rock chamber that rises above her is also cold. Her fingers flex around the metal and tighten again until her knuckles become white. She does this because the rod, which was once some form of truss or support for a colossal bridge, is the only thing stopping her from plummeting into an ocean of darkness.

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Anton is sat at his computer, of course.

1. A mirror on his desk – Anton occasionally checks his face for something we can’t see. He’s got something embedded in there.

2. Behind him, only lit a little from the glow of the monitor, there’s a bird in a glass dome. One of those sinister taxidermy vignettes, glass eyes, weird long-legged bird stalking through reeds. Wires hold it in place. Cheap, badly done. Old dead bubs are trapped in the glue that circles the base of the dome.

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Lesson 1 - Good Intentions.

Homeworld Cataclysm, for all of the small niggling problems that gradually eat away at your enjoyment in the long term, made a brilliant multiplayer game. Fighting against the ai is such a joyless, uneventful experience. It either does nothing until you vanquish it, or sends wave after wave of killer death machines at your fledgling fleet with the speed that no human can match simply because he can’t be in two places at once.

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Howdy!

Actually, I had second, third, fourth and possibly fifth thoughts about presenting these. Mostly as I’ve discovered that the last stuff I did was about six years ago. SIX. Where the hell does the time go? I would’ve sworn it was no more than, maybe, two.

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Originally published at http://www.bigkid.com.au/ on 2nd October 2001

On the (we thought) final leg of the Shaman Epic Quest, we ran into the biggest monster an online game can throw at you - lag. Ouch.

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Today a few of us went mining in the dangerous, lawless, resource-rich 0.0 system of U3K-4A. It was a momentous day, this was something we’d wanted to do since the earliest days. We’d looked out and said “One day, we want to be out there, and we want to do dangerous, exciting things, earning buckets of money in the process.”

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Pin the bitch to the bed. Hold her down. Lean across her legs, stop them thrashing, kicking. Hold both wrists with one hand, her clawing, scratching nails at bay. The punching, pounding fists. Say you’re sorry, apologise for hurting her, think you mean it. Know you mean it. But then she’s biting, sinking her fangs into your wrists. How do you hold her head down without letting those claws free? Use your other arm, hold her neck. Pin the bitch to the bed.

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I was on holiday for a week, and it hurt. I’ve spent time away from my PC before, and going back to my Mum’s house means I can always pull the ol’ SNES out from underneath the bed, but it was different this time. No amount of Mario Kart or Streetfighter II could hide the fact that I was really missing EVE. Oh God, I think I may have a problem.

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